Begin your walk at the hospital car park. Follow the yellow brick road of childhood to the kissing gate of hormonal teenagers, then fork left and take the gentle incline through Twenty Something Lane.
Around 3 years down you’ll see a stile on the right. (Sometimes the hedgerow is a little overgrown here but there’s another stile a little further down for those enjoying the wild flowers on the lane.)
Once over the stile you’re into the Pasture of the Big Wide World. Stop and soak up the view here as there’s a lot to take in. There is a clear track through the grass but mind the odd thistle and mud patch along the way. Once over the second stile take the bench and think hard before moving on.
You have 2 options here, you can take the 30 year scenic coastal route past wild orchids and rare birds or you can take the more treacherous 20 year route through the Forest of Capitalist Doom. Either way, each passes the Boulder of Middle Age but there’s a steep ascent through the woodland and you’ll need suitable attire here to fend off the pesky nettles!
Each route is clearly signposted and leads to the Waterfall of Retirement. Here you can picnic, paddle in the river and reflect on life’s journey. The hospital car park is off to your left – a few short years away.
Emma Melling, July 2012